Motherhood · Parenting · Toddlers

5 Down, 360 To Go: My First Parenting Fails of 2016

soil.jpg
Mmm, chocolate

#1. Catching my son eating soil from the flower pot present thing I
got for Christmas (see photo), only for him to insist it was chocolate. What crappy chocolate did Santa get him!

#2. My son learning to high jump out of his cot. Bedtime now involves three hours of me returning him to his cot over and over. Not at all annoying. I’ve taken to sitting outside his room with my laptop so at least I can be productive too (and avoid excessive stair climbing).

Stray balls.jpg
Stray balls

#3. Leaving the lightweight little ball pit balls in the garden. Approximately all 50 of them. Needless to say, they are mostly no longer in the garden. On the plus side, the neighbours gardens’ and the back lane are looking mighty colourful.

blocked toilet
Blocked toilet anyone?

#4. My son realising quite how much fun it is to shred all the toilet paper and chuck it down the loo…oh the joys of unblocking the toilet.

#6. Forgetting to take my son out (I’m assuming the corner shop doesn’t really count). I really should have managed at least a park trip by now right!?! Oh dear.

#7. Still having the tree up. Please don’t tell me its bad luck.

#8. Spending more time writing bollocks for my blog than dedicatedly singing/ reading (insert caring parenting activity of your choice here) etc, to my son.

#9. Come on, surely that enough? That’s numerous fails per day. Noone can be that crap a mum…right?

broken potty
Now broken potty

#10. Oh yeah, apparently they can…Final fail of the week, allowing little one to use his toilet seat on top of his potty, just for fun (I’m sure the splits that he was required to do all help for fail #2). It wasn’t quite so fun when the potty and he fell over….trust me. Still he can always use the toilet. Oh shit, it’s still blocked.

Is it too early to say roll on 2017?

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I would usually add a nice helpful link at this point, but if you’re as crap as all this then really there’s no hope for you!

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